Blog fail, I know. This week has been really off and I don’t like it. I didn’t post yesterday because, well I wasn’t happy with my behavior and I didn’t quite know what to say. I have a lot of excuses for my actions but I need to be stronger and not do things that require excuses. Ie: skipping the gym, eating shitty food etc.
As you may have guessed, I didn’t go to the gym yesterday or this morning. That makes a total of 3 DAYS this week so far with no gym time. However, I did take a 3 ½ hilly mile walk with Nora last night and it felt GREAT. I worked up quite a sweat and it wasn’t as difficult as I remember? That is most likely due in large part to my NEW SHOES!! I finally bought new gym shoes! It’s amazing how much more supported my feel feel lol. I did notice on the walk last night that the bottom of my feet were burning.. but I’m thinking that I may have had them tied a little too tight PLUS my feet were already hurting from the stupid shoes I wore to work yesterday so I’m thinking that had a lot to do with it too. Either way, I wasn’t as winded and I felt good when I got home. I intended to go to bellydance last night as well but Nora had a mini panny (panic attack) when I tried to leave so that didn’t happen. I didn’t eat dinner last night b/c I felt ILL after my lunch (read on) and had absolutely no interest in food. Around lunch time yesterday I was like dammit, I want Mexican food! So I had Mexican food. I got a chicken taco salad and chips & salsa. I ate the entire salad and like ½ or less of the chips. I was immediately nauseas. I decided that it was the diet gods sending me a shot of karma for making such a poor decision. I didn’t eat much the night before that either so I didn’t feel as guilty about the extra calories… but I’m still very unhappy with my decision. So far today, I’ve had a mocha protein shake, about 7 lbs of trail mix (okay that may be an exaggeration… but still too much) and I’m currently drinking a non-fat Latte from Starbucks. I am exhausted.
I’ve somehow contracted Poison Ivy (sounds like an STD when you say ‘contracted’ lol) so I took an antihistamine last night and it just drains the life right out of me. That on top of not sleeping well AT ALL for the last week or 2 plus all of the stress in my personal life and about this NYC trip (FRIDAY!), I just feel like I’m dying or something. A whole lot of ‘bleh’.
For lunch, I went to Kroger and got a box from their salad bar containing the following:
Salad (mixed greens, tomatoes, banana peppers, cucumbers, mozzarella, red onion, craisins, almonds, balsamic vinaigrette)
Broccoli Slaw
Pasta Salad
I still have my low-carb yogurt that I brought for my morning snack (I obviously replaced that with trail mix – another craving) so I may have that later… or my boss has a serving of Protein Mousse here for me so I might have that. We’ll see.
I hate being stressed/depressed. I’ve felt like this for like the past 2 weeks and it is SERIOUSLY taking a toll on my well-being. I just don’t know how to fix it. Hopefully being in NYC for 5 days will give me a chance to clear my head. I’m going to miss my little girl a LOT but I think it’s definitely a necessary trip (beyond the fact that it’s for work and I kind of have to go lol)
Well, I won’t go on about my currently crappy life/state of mind any more. Hopefully I’ll be feeling back to myself in no time flat. But, as I’ve said before, I guess that’s kind of up to me? Ugh, I need to get control.
Until tomorrow…
No comments:
Post a Comment